Monster Monday

Last weekend was my buddy’s bachelor party weekend. Each of us pitched in for the festivities in a different way….

The crew erupts into song as you crack open a bottle of mead in celebration of a successful high-seas heist….

The eagle-faced golem’s eyes glow a potent burst of red. You feel lethargic as if all your energy was sapped…

A wall of flames appears before you as you sprint toward the exit. Aghast, you look behind you to see…

You gasp as you turn the corner and see a chuckling, flaming, disembodied skull staring at you. You go to…

An audible crunch erupts from the twigs beneath your boots. The once sleeping wyvern jolts awake, emitting an eardrum-shattering roar…

Alerting the underworld cerberus of your position was merely the second dumbest thing you did today. The first was attempting…

Two barbed devils stand at attention next to the escape route. A wave of anxiety, then relief washes over you…

Horns bellow in the distance. You see hobgoblin war banners emerge from the forest line as a legion of hobgoblins…

A torrent of water smashes into you. You feel a pain in your chest as a few ribs are broken…

The year is 1784. After another night of red wine and debauchery, Benjamin Franklin rolled out of bed, popped a…

You watch in horror as out of nowhere your compatriot, Dathoridan, is run-through by a torrent of feathers. A sizeable…

Suddenly the giant, metallic snake statue springs to life as you approach it. It lets out a terrifying hiss and…

You step off the dais in the center of the room, making your way to the exit. Suddenly a hulking…

A chill runs down your spine as you turn the corner into the unlit hallway of the abandoned house. Suddenly,…

You’re cornered. You close your eyes, waiting for the displacer beasts to pounce. Your final moment feels like an hour….

You wake up surrounded by harsh hissing. Before you can react you feel a thud on your chest. An enormous,…

You’ve successfully infiltrated the nightclub that this so-called Sire of Insanity is hosting. Debauchery and depravity are rampant here. Still,…

You struggle to break free from the tight grip of the mind flayer’s tentacles. Helpless it drags you to its…

You take a break to make camp as you traverse the murky swampland. Then as soon as the night’s stew…

The chimera stands over your battered body, its lion head baring its fangs as it looks down on you. Savoring…

Just a quick “in and out” for a pile of gems. That’s all this was supposed to be. Now here…

You cheer as you watch the remaining orc raiders retreat. Though your celebration is short-lived as you hear the orcish…

You trip over a tree root in the middle of the forest. As you struggle to get back up you…

Finally, you’ve snuck your way into the wizard’s dungeon and located the prisoner. You jimmy the lock on the cell…

“WHY WON’T YOU DIE!?” you scream, plunging your longsword into the zombie and watching it, yet again, rise from the…

Take a relaxing bath in the hot springs they said. You deserve a break after saving the village they said!…

You’re cornered. This creature, an amalgamation of clay and earth in humanoid form, has absorbed every spell you’ve slung at…

You hurriedly make your way out of the sunken ship, narrowly escaping the aboleth that decimated your allies. A wave…

Kneeling at the shore you find yourself vomiting the salty seawater and struggling to catch your breath after your boat…

The Plane of Ice contains many treasures that many back home would pay handsomely for. You knew it would be…

You had to abandon them. You were lost and running out of supplies, so you took theirs. “Self-preservation is my…

The frigid air chills you to the bone. You duck into a cave to wait out the blizzard. Big mistake….

No one could have warned you of the ice devil’s ferocity. This insect-like creature was unfathomably quick and strong. You…

You cleared the dungeon handily. It was supposed to just be a quick walk through the forest back to town….

Your heart pounds as you dash through the hallways of an Izzet League workshop as you make your escape with…

It’s the final Monster Monday before Halloween! As you know, I’m contractually obligated to highlight an appropriately-spooky creature in honor of the…

A hulking creature stands before you, illuminating a terrifying red-orange light. With a flash, its enormous scimitar ignites and you…

Your entire body is slowly being cooked alive in a living vat of acid. “The buddy system… now I understand…

This is usually the part of a Monster Monday article where I’ll write some fun flavor text about the creature. But today…

You frantically dash through the pitch-black tunnel. You can hear sets of heavy feet galloping not far behind you, their…

You take the MacGuffin off of its pedestal. No traps, what a surprise! As you wipe the sweat from your…

You drop to your knees. There’s no point in running from a creature with a 200-foot wingspan. The roc, high…

Bowling was a frequent choice for birthday parties when I was growing up. However, it wasn’t the bowling that I…

“What the hell?” you exclaim after a rat bites your leg. You stumble a few steps ahead and then feel…

You gasp for air, but only water fills your lungs. The seaweed-like appendages of the kelpie coils around you even…

“How dare you defile our sacred lands?”, roars the voice in your head. You run, gasping for breath, daring not…

How could this happen? Everything the spellcaster throws at them is shrugged off. These devilish soldiers, the merregon, keep pushing…

You feel the ground beneath you shake. Is it adrenalin? No, the quaking is getting worse! You look around and…

You feel a weight lifted off or your belt. Someone has stolen your coin purse! You look behind you to…